


Wait

by barush



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barush/pseuds/barush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And just then, my heart stopped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait

It was a wonderful day. Brad’s long, skinny fingers were tickling my cold palm and I was listening to his low voice, slightly cracked from cold, telling me about this brand new amp he wanted to purchase. Rays of afternoon sun were illuminating the beautiful nature around us and I took a deep breath to enjoy the fresh unspoilt air still lingering in these outskirts.

And just then, my heart stopped.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot throughout my whole body and came to a halt right in my chest. It felt like a pair of freezing hands seized my heart and locked it in a tight grip. The agony was unbearable.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was it.

I tightened the hold on Brad’s fingers and dropped to my knees. My brain was screaming ‘weep’ at me, desperately trying to get my body to react in an appropriate way but no sound was coming. No breath. Just empty gasps and an excruciating throbbing ache. Blinded by my pain and anguish, the only coherent thought left in my mind flooded my whole body and took over me.

Wait.

‘Wait,’ I wanted to say. Scream it from the top of my lungs. Yell. Shout. ‘Give me one more month,’ I wailed in my mind. I wouldn’t even shy away from praying to Brad’s God, since mine was non-existent. I’d beg whoever might listen to help me. I’d been taught that desperate situations called for desperate measures. ‘Somebody just fucking stop this!’ My own voice was echoing in my head. Life wasn’t fair to me, no. It had given me so many dreams and so little time.

We wanted to travel around the world. Hand in hand with my gorgeous boyfriend, it wouldn’t take more than 30 days. We wanted to make love in every single country stretching out on the earth’s surface, forget about sights. We wanted to see the Seven Wonders of the World.

Not to forget that the two of us were planning to buy a house together. It’d take just a month for Brad to pick one out. I’d go along with his choice in the end, because as long as Brad was happy, same went for me. A month would be enough time to get and spoil the puppy I had so desperately wanted since my childhood .

Brad and I would be great parents too.

“The leaves are dying, aren’t they?” I suddenly croaked out, finally able to voice my thoughts and surprising even myself. The world was changing right before my weary eyes. Beautiful green leaves resting on various branches and sticks started to shrink and swiftly resolved into nothingness. After some, tiny piles of grey ash were left, a reminder of lost magnificence and freedom. Even though all my numb senses were alert in a way, my brain couldn’t fully comprehend the occurrence happening around us.

“They’re not,” Brad’s strained voice rang in my ear as he knelt down beside me. His first instinct was to reach into the pocket of his worn out jacket and fish for his cell phone, bony fingers hastily hitting the familiar numbers.

Suddenly, the thought came back.

Wait.

If only a week. Just seven days more. So I could say goodbye. So many people didn’t know how much I loved, admired and looked up to them. So many things were left unsaid with the thought of getting to it later. It’d take a week at least to get hold of all my friends and closest family to let them know what I honestly thought about them. A huge weight would be lifted from my shoulders then and I could feel free for the last time. Just a few days.

“The trees, Brad,” I whispered. Lying on the cold dirty ground now, I could see the colossal enormous trees being eaten from inside out, rotting and decaying just before my eyes. Leafless and bared, dying cruel and too quick deaths. Their death rattle sounded like cackling to my ears, mocking and intimidating.

My face was moist. Huge tears were leaping from Brad’s eyes, dripping onto my cheeks and mingling with my own, creating a salty mixture of our blended sorrow. Trying to focus my blurred vision would take too much strength, so I had to settle for the collage of different colours lingering above me.

Wait.

Just a day. One single day to say Brad I loved him as many times as I could only manage. To run my hands over his sweaty slick body while arching to his quick thrusts one last time. To breathe in his sweet scent and feel his arms wrapped around me while falling into a deep slumber. To order Chinese take out and laugh out loud while watching a silly comedy. To enjoy his mere presence and remember all the features of his handsome face. Finally, to say a proper goodbye and let him go.

“Dark,” I breathed out as I saw the Sun slowly floating along the light blue sky and gradually disappearing, drawing a blanket of darkness that immediately started to embrace the world before my eyes. The clouds were getting black and gloomy above my head and I realized that almost everything around me was already dead. The only living thing within my grasp now was weeping and choking, silently whispering soothing words into my ear that I couldn’t understand anymore.

Wait.

Give me an hour and I’ll get some morphine or other drug to numb the pain. On every corner of every street there was at least one person with a tiny little bag of white powder soundly resting in their pocket, waiting for me or some other desperate soul to help us ease the suffering. Physical as well as psychical, as those always went hand in hand. This time, I wouldn’t have to worry of slipping into the old habit again, becoming an addict, a junkie once more. There wasn’t enough time. It’d just bring me the last bliss and make me fly higher above the sky.

‘Go away,’ I wanted to say. ‘Go away before my dying world swallows you as well.’ I’d never forgive myself if Brad’s life was to end along with mine. I wasn’t one of those cheesy romantics, dreaming of the moment when our souls would join into one and leave together. Fuck that shit.

At last, I knew it didn’t work. I wouldn’t be given any more time to right all the wrong I’d done. Neither a month, week, hour, nor a few minutes. I was robbed of everything I had without a chance to complain.

I couldn’t see Brad’s face anymore, his deep thoughtful eyes, soft lips, creased eyebrows. I just felt his shaking hands gently stroking my hair while his tender voice was humming some melody I knew so well, but wasn’t able to point my finger on what it was. As the life strength was quickly leaving my weak body, thinking of anything got almost impossible. The agonizing pain in my heart got numb and left only heartache, empty longing for things I knew I’d never have again.

However, I was able to gather enough might to will my eyes open and was met with the most gorgeous sight I’d ever seen. My blurry vision momentarily cleared and I could see the beauty of suffering in Brad’s face. How could I possibly leave that?

A small smile slowly crept to my lips, solely for the sake of my lover, to assure him I was fine. I found my peace and accepted my fate. If only it was true though. In reality, I was beyond scared and feeling resentful. ‘Why me?’ The question would be left unanswered for eternity though as the rotting darkness had already hacked its claws into me and I gasped out my last breath.

“Wait.”


End file.
